It was one year ago this week, that Byron and Elliot moved in. What a year it's been! Sigh. Having your children go through a separation, that's headed to a divorce, is hard! You never want anything to hurt any of your children. No matter their age. No matter if they were born into your little family, or married into it, or arrived as grand children. Sometimes that means that you want to wrap them up in plastic wrap and protect them from 'life'. Other times, the mother bear in you needs reigned in. Oh how you want to hurt those who are hurting yours. Yet you know that's not the right way to feel, let alone act. So you vent to your husband and dear friends. Asking for comfort. Asking to be held accountable. And you pray constantly for strength. And wisdom.
And you proceed forward. Striving ever so
hard, to make sure you dot all your 'i's' and cross all your 't's'. You
really don't want to be responsible for adding any fuel to any fire.
And apologize when you keep going on about something, when you need
to 'drop it'. After all, they are adults. While yes, you do have the
right (so to speak) to add input and insight, they are adults. And
must make their own decisions. Just like you wanted to be allowed to
make your own.
And you strive ever so diligently (and hard), to let all involved know they ARE loved! Period.
So it's been quite the year. Man has it. In many ways, a very l-o-n-g year. And this coming year shall be too.
And of course, that's not the only struggles we've had this past year. And I
know this coming year shall hold struggles else where in our lives as well. That is after all, 'life'.
'Lord, thank-you for your never wavering love for us! Thank-you for
being my strength. Sure couldn't keep going on my own! Thank-you for
being in charge of all of the 'details'. Help me to remember it really
is 'your will not mine' that I want. I really do! It's just hard to keep
in focus at times. And thank-you for these kids. All of them. I am so-o